#Manchester Evening News and how the city is being overrun by pigeons. Or Labour Councillors. Or both.

The following article appeared in the Manchester Evening News yesterday Sort of.

piccadillygardensHe is known as the Enforcer of Albert Square.

But Councillor Pat Karney could become one of many councillors to be hit with increased citizen tab-keeping as Manchester residents once again look to crack down on the council feeding its own pet projects in the city.

Karney, 56, resides in Castle Grayskull, Albert Square, and has been described by anonymous sources as “like Smaug the dragon on top of a pile of loot.” He says his love of Labour control comes from his native Ireland, where it is common.

Karney, a councillor, who moved to Manchester longer ago than anyone cares to remember and represents Harpurhey, said; “This £14.5m for “Clean and Green Spaces” will buy a lot of bags of feed for the councillors. In the culture we’ve created, it is normal to make decisions behind closed doors, and in general people are unaware of it.”

There are fears that the number of Labour councillors has increased in recent years – and their burblings and squawkings are coating the city’s fountains, streets and seats, making it a health hazard for democracy.

The problem is believed to be worsening, with the number of Labour councillors likely to hit 100% of the available ecological niche by May next year. Feeding the birds’ egos is not recommended, as they have been known to swarm and attack if they perceive any threat.

Khaleed Leila, 45, from Manchester, said “It’s normally nice to be kind to animals – but they are very hungry for more and more power. I wish someone would do something.”

City Centre spokesman, Coun Pat Karney, denied the situation had ‘got out of hand; “Everyone in Manchester loves these creatures and their pet projects. People tell us – or up to 10% of them tell us – all the time. By which I mean, three times every four years. You can’t say fairer than that.”

Coun Simon Wheale, leader of the minority Liberal Democrats disagreed. “This city is coated in the droppings of the Labour flock. It’s a disgrace and what is needed is a massive grant from central Government to clean things up. No, wait…”

This entry was posted in humour and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s